yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
