Swine flu. Run for my life!
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
