Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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