Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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