pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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