he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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