there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
You smell like stripper and shame
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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