I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
