They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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