you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize