If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize