I wish I could punch you in the face.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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