OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
