you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
