So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
