i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
