she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
