My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize