Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
