Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
