accomplished twins. life is a go
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
