I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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