sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
