lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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