Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I love having hate sex.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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