do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
