I just googled if crying burns calories
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
