If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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