am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
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The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
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Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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