ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
