It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
