3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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