frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
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There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
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My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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