Kiss
Puke
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
