You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
