Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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