For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize