Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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