i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
