I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
