Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize