When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
