there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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