i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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