is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
