Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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