honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
