1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
