I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
