I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
