all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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