I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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