after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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