I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Randomize
