you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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