I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
