He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
