you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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