He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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