i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
