i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Too much gin, very little bucket
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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