So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
