He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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