Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
